ELAINE CHAE

I know he was your best friend and all, but I’m sorry, tell me again- how did he change the world?

Because as far as I know, I’m one friend, two cities away from him (pretty darn close compared to the world) and I have not felt or seen or experienced what great thing he has done or impact he has made on others as such a great person. He may have been a wonderful person because of his optimistic outlook on life, but come on, change the world? Let’s reconsider.

Has he really reached out to other people and tried to make an effort to make a difference in the world through his sickness?

Or is that just a fantasy you guys created to pedestal-ize him and make him to be greater than he actually was so that you can feel like his passing was worth it?

I hate over exaggeration.

Sorry, I’m tired and cranky and I just get really annoyed of her and this whole thing about lfmm because I think it’s over-exaggerated… my grandma passed away from blood poisoning by the hospital and she was an amazing, supportive, loving, generous, God-loving and fearing woman… and my great aunt passed away from breast cancer and she was the most serving, welcoming, humble, patient, and caring woman I have ever known… they were great, amazing, admirable people and I love them and miss them. But I understand the fact that despite how awesome they were, their personal awesomeness towards the people around them don’t impact the world (realistically thinking) and deserve other people living for them.

But I can’t say this to her because of course, it will hurt her feelies.

So I’ll continue to be passive-aggressive and vent here.

Im so bloated and tired and my boobs are so sore that I can’t walk comfortably and I keep getting so many random painful cramps that I just want to lie on my bed all day … my period better start ASAP ASLKDGJHALKSJDGH

Oh my gosh… just stepped on the scale… I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my entire life.

I’M SO MAD AT MYSELF UGH OMG 

I NEED TO STOP BEING LAZY AND STOP BEING SO DOWN TO EAT EVERYTHING >:(

Sometimes I wish I could hide how I’m actually feeling in order to avoid awkward situations and conversations but clearly I’m incapable of faking happy when I’m sad and friendly when I don’t like someone but then I realize that I’d rather be real than be fake because … well… who likes fake people?

Not saying that I’m perfect, because I’m definitely not, but I’d rather choose

honesty > lies

genuine > fake